THE AIM OF THE ARTICLE
In this feature we want to show and teach you how to spot the signs of hidden anxiety.
Show and explain the top 5 tell tale signs someone is trying to hide anxiety.
How to help them accept and understand its normal.
To give you a better overall understanding of what anxiety sufferers feel each and everyday.
Contrary to popular belief you never ever see what’s on the inside of someone. A smile, a joke a distraction can and does hide a multitude of sins. So how do we know for sure if someone is struggling with anxiety. The true answer is you will never know, not for certain anyway, but if you pay close attention to details they will show you it without ever knowing. You see the body and mind are interlinked completely and while words say one thing, behaviours, actions and body language often say another, so here we share a few of the most common signs someone with anxiety might exhibit.
- They always want to control their enviroment: Unlike non anxiety oriented people who tend to go with the flow and look at life with a it is what it is attitude people hiding anxiety know but at times fail to understand and accept that they can’t control other people thoughts, beliefs, patterns and actions and with worry and paranoia heightened they know the safe space in inside their 4 walls so don’t be surprised if you find them very much in control in that enviroment. When they control the environment and how things are done it offers a safe place for them to get momentary relief from that never ending crippling emotion.
- Fidgety/agitation: The body and our emotional balance goes hand in hand. When Someone starts to feel really agitated they might display certain body movements as a way of distracting or showing emotional distress, these are generally automated and can’t be controlled and with so many micro movements it would be impossible to list them all but here are a few: Eyes will start look all around in rapid succession, obsessively blinking, biting lips, exasperated breathing, restlessness in hands, arms and legs i.e rapid foot tapping, squeezing of hands in to each other to name but a few. The lack of focus and the distance they show isn’t because they are rude or not listening its just at that moment that can’t.
- Risk adverse: Someone with anxiety will always try and stay safe, they know what triggers and what doesn’t and they will have had it and learned it as if it was their only friend in the world. They will try at all costs to avoid any person, place, or situations that would trigger or increase anxiety in any way shape or form for them, the best form of defence is comfort. Anxiety sufferers won’t engage in anything that might or could increase anxiety. Think about it like this if I asked you to do something knowing full well it was going to hurt you and you had the option of saying no what would you say ?
- Mind 10 steps ahead: So many anxiety sufferers catastrophize everything in front of them and live very much in a “what if” world. Imagine trying to work out the answer to every problem you will have in life before you even have it, so with that intensity in mind they always try and stay ahead of the game in the what if world. Granted they will be proved wrong time after time but that doesn’t stop them looking for another what if situation and if they can plan around it, keep the anxiety at bay and not have it happen then they feel safe and fully in control of the emotion. Anxiety suffered can often describe things that are going to go wrong in their mind before the event or the situation has even occurred, it’s safe to say it’s almost like a full time job suffering crippling anxiety.
- A people pleasing (fear of driving people away): A very short term gain that will create long term damage. Anxiety can cause us to become somewhat paranoid and worry what everyone thinks or even says about us and for that reason they will people please even if it causes them distress and discomfort. Anxiety has a way of making you want to avoid confrontation at all costs and because we fear recourse from confrontation they will agree to almost anything if it means they don’t have to say no and feel even worse for it. Of course being nice is an amazing quality but if you are over nice and don’t put your emotional needs first it will cause suppressed emotions, feelings of anxiety increased, increased levels of worry, stress, strain and fear. Add all of those emotions together and you can surely see how damaging people pleasing can be. Remember it really is ok to say no and if you worry about that try no however why don’t I/we do X Y Z instead of the thing your asking, say no and offer a solution or an alternative to the thing that will hurt you even more.
Serenity by Kevin is a Multi award winning relationship and anxiety practice with offices in Central Scotland and Dubai UAE. If you have any questions or would like to get in touch please go back to the home page and hit the contact us button and you may just be surprised at what changes we can bring for you.